Let me start with a quote we mentioned in our Family Relations class discussion: "We badly need to raise our boys more like our girls." Gloria Steinham.
What does this imply? Are girls better and more prepared than boys? Many people say there are no differences between men and women. But are there differences? Might this be causing some of the problems we see in today's society?
One conclusion we came to was that we should take into account gender differences but we definitely need to hold each other to the same moral standards. Preferably the higher moral standards. We need to raise our children to be more like Christ was, whether you believe he is our Savior and Lord or not.
If we generalize into "male" or "female" characteristics, we do see differences:
Male:
- aggressive
- competitive
- spacial orientation
- mathematical
- logic
- more grey matter in the brain
Female:
- expressive, emotionally and otherwise
- cooperative
- attention to detail
- relational orientation
- language
- more white matter in the brain
Obviously not everyone has only "male" or only "female" characteristics, but is we assume everyone always has the same characteristics or personality traits, then we begin to see problems come up. A boy who has more "female" characteristics may easily begin to believe he is a girl, when in reality, it is society and the media and other sources feeding him the stereotype of who he should be. The same goes for girls. Sort of.
Think about this: a tomboy is looked at as an athletic girl, but a boy who has "female" characteristic is looked as as a wimp, gay, or other things with a negative connotation.
This is just a piece of one side of information.
Let's look at the biology!
Let me just give a brief overview of child development:
Childhood temperaments: aggression, activity levels
- boys and girls show different levels of aggression and activity as they begin to develop their personalities more
Sex-typical/atypical activity and playmate preferences: gender conformity/nonconformity
- there are stereotypical gender roles put on boys and girls
- as they begin to grow and develop more, young children begin to conform to those roles or avoid those stereotypical roles
- if children are fed certain ideas of who they should be, they are more likely to feel bad for who they are if they don't conform
Feeling different from opposite/same-sex peers: dissimilar, unfamiliar, exotic
- Again, if children are fed certain ideas of who they should be, they are more likely to feel bad for who they are if they don't conform
Nonspecific autonomic arousal to opposite/same-sex peers
- This is a real thing
- the body begins to go through puberty and begins to experience certain physical reactions
- this should NOT be mistaken as serious sexual arousal or sexual interest
- a child may think they are gay when what they are experiencing is normal and mainly concerns intimacy rather than sexuality
Erotic/romantic attraction to opposite/same-sex persons: sexual orientation
- this is when the sexual side of things comes out
- it is SO important to discuss and develop healthy thoughts, feelings and relationships
Note: Some say that people are often just born in the "wrong body". According to doctors, that happens so rarely, but it is possible for someone to be missing parts. And even that doesn't happen very often.
It is very IMPORTANT for parents and others to be well-informed and educated. If they know what the research actually shows as opposed to only being aware of popular belief, they may be better able to nurture their children and help them develop their personalities. Having that kind of knowledge allows a parent to articulate well as they talk with their spouse and family. This will help avoid mistakenly categorizing someone as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and other similar labels.
Let us educate ourselves and others so we can best help those we know and love to develop their personalities as they should be and have confidence in who they are.
Let us love and care for everyone.
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