Celestial Marriage

Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.
(reading: "Family: A Proclamation to the World" from the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

There is a quote I once read, I don't remember from who, that says "We are not mortal beings having a spiritual experience.  We are spiritual beings having a mortal experience."

Not many remember this truth today.  Not many people realize the importance of marriage and family.  We are heavenly beings come to Earth to have a mortal experience.  Relationships are meant to last longer than this life.  They are meant to be eternal.

Satan wants to win, but we don't need to let fear and doubt overpower us.

Even before marriage, we should all be aware of the attachments we are forming with others in our life.  We should be aware of who we become attached to, how and why.  There is a RAM model of attachment with 5 steps:

This model tells us that we need to know someone very well before we can completely trust them, rely on them or commit to them.  These levels of each category allow for a healthy attachment between two people.  It is important to know someone and understand them.  To know someone requires togetherness, talking and time.  Once you share experiences and things close to your heart, you begin to form an emotional attachment.  Just don't forget to keep physical touch in bounds.  Don't forget.  It needs to be kept in bounds, especially before marriage.  But the level of physical touch does increase after marriage, which is good for the marriage relationship.

A note on cohabitation: it does not actually have any proven benefits to the quality of a relationship or marriage.

Strong marriages:
- helping each other
- struggling together, not separately and alone
- coping together, not alone
- supporting each other
- overcoming trials and hard times together

Exercise faith and have courage!  When two people have their sight set on the same things and share the same visions, dreams and goals in life, then they will be able to work through problems.
Another quote I like: "A team of two will always win when one of them is God."
Before any readers get offended, remember this: I know this is true!  I have seen this time and again in my life!  My parents have been a living testimony to the principles of faith and courage and love.
Never give up!

The joy and fulfillment in a strong marriage is worth the wait.  It is worth the sacrifices that need to be made now to have that strength in the future.  It is worth every effort to obtain and maintain a celestial marriage.

Sex Differences: Nature v. Nurture

Before I dive into this subject, anyone reading this should know that it is quite controversial in today's society.  You'd think that people would learn how to be less offended by things and more accepting of each other, but we can see clearly that many have bitter feelings in relation to this topic.  Well, they might have less bitterness toward the topic and more bitterness and hatred toward those of a different opinion than them.

Let me start with a quote we mentioned in our Family Relations class discussion: "We badly need to raise our boys more like our girls." Gloria Steinham.
What does this imply?  Are girls better and more prepared than boys?  Many people say there are no differences between men and women.  But are there differences?  Might this be causing some of the problems we see in today's society?
One conclusion we came to was that we should take into account gender differences but we definitely need to hold each other to the same moral standards.  Preferably the higher moral standards.  We need to raise our children to be more like Christ was, whether you believe he is our Savior and Lord or not.

If we generalize into "male" or "female" characteristics, we do see differences:
Male:

• aggressive
• competitive
• spacial orientation
• mathematical
• logic
• more grey matter in the brain

Female:

• expressive, emotionally and otherwise
• cooperative
• attention to detail
• relational orientation
• language
• more white matter in the brain

Obviously not everyone has only "male" or only "female" characteristics, but is we assume everyone always has the same characteristics or personality traits, then we begin to see problems come up.  A boy who has more "female" characteristics may easily begin to believe he is a girl, when in reality, it is society and the media and other sources feeding him the stereotype of who he should be.  The same goes for girls.  Sort of.

Think about this: a tomboy is looked at as an athletic girl, but a boy who has "female" characteristic is looked as as a wimp, gay, or other things with a negative connotation.

This is just a piece of one side of information.

Let's look at the biology!

Let me just give a brief overview of child development:

Childhood temperaments: aggression, activity levels

• boys and girls show different levels of aggression and activity as they begin to develop their personalities more

Sex-typical/atypical activity and playmate preferences: gender conformity/nonconformity

• there are stereotypical gender roles put on boys and girls
• as they begin to grow and develop more, young children begin to conform to those roles or avoid those stereotypical roles
• if children are fed certain ideas of who they should be, they are more likely to feel bad for who they are if they don't conform

Feeling different from opposite/same-sex peers: dissimilar, unfamiliar, exotic

• Again, if children are fed certain ideas of who they should be, they are more likely to feel bad for who they are if they don't conform

Nonspecific autonomic arousal to opposite/same-sex peers

• This is a real thing
• the body begins to go through puberty and begins to experience certain physical reactions
• this should NOT be mistaken as serious sexual arousal or sexual interest
• a child may think they are gay when what they are experiencing is normal and mainly concerns intimacy rather than sexuality

Erotic/romantic attraction to opposite/same-sex persons: sexual orientation

• this is when the sexual side of things comes out
• it is SO important to discuss and develop healthy thoughts, feelings and relationships

Note: Some say that people are often just born in the "wrong body".  According to doctors, that happens so rarely, but it is possible for someone to be missing parts.  And even that doesn't happen very often.

It is very IMPORTANT for parents and others to be well-informed and educated.  If they know what the research actually shows as opposed to only being aware of popular belief, they may be better able to nurture their children and help them develop their personalities.  Having that kind of knowledge allows a parent to articulate well as they talk with their spouse and family.  This will help avoid mistakenly categorizing someone as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and other similar labels.

Let us educate ourselves and others so we can best help those we know and love to develop their personalities as they should be and have confidence in who they are.

Let us love and care for everyone.